Up in the Air

You've seen this image before, I'm sure. Of course it's the iconic image of Mr. Frederickson's house launching skyward to new adventures...adventures he never could have foreseen.

It all sounds exciting, but really? If you want to know, I would rather not be in Mr. Frederickson's house right now. I would like my house to be firmly stuck to its ground, thank you very much.

I really do not like this being up in the air. There are too many unanswered questions: Will my kids be ok? Will they find ways of supporting themselves independently in this society? Will the neurologist appointment go well tomorrow? What about the future? The future of this crazy world and the country I live in. The future of me and my family...we do not plan to stay in Illinois, but we do not know what comes next. Or where.

What about my own upcoming appointments? Will I find out why I feel lousy all the time even though all the paperwork says "normal?" I have been exhausted for as long as I can remember. There is a suspicion of sleep apnea, that I may be depriving myself of oxygen as I sleep. This would explain the exhaustion and inability to concentrate. I have to wait a month before I see the doctor about that, though

In the meantime, I have to learn to be patient and to not let anxiety rule.

I've read in the Bible. "Do not be anxious about anything,"

but to instead let my requests be known to God. I will do my best.

My requests are known, but my mind is stubborn.

Still, I will persevere and do what I have to do each day. I will tie a

few balloons to my house, and only God knows where we will land.

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